400 Days of Surrender — Day 23: On being attacked

400 Days of Surrender — Day 23: On being attacked

New to this series? You can find Day 1 and why I’m writing this here.

Over the last week, I’ve had one at times heated exchange with a friend who has been on a spiritual path as well. In a recent text messages he had the following to say: “Most of your so called spiritual insights are just repackaged asian and shamanic religious concepts. The bullshit is the co-opting of these insights and repackaging them as new. Do your research.”

My first reaction to that was discomfort. That feeds back to my trauma of being misunderstood which I talked about on Day 10. It’s not about being right or wrong but I feel the viciousness of the comment is attacking and questioning my integrity and I feel deeply misunderstood in what I am trying to do here.

First, his attack is a great opportunity for me to let go and surrender. Whatever you do, there will always people that love what you do and others that hate what you do, many in between and most probably not caring at all. When you lean yourself out of the window and share your thoughts you are making yourself vulnerable, you are creating an attack surface. That just comes with it.

If you are not willing to (unintentionally) piss someone off you can’t do much in life. Whether it’s your parents, your friends, your colleagues, society, “god,” there is always someone who supposedly or expressively might not like what you do. And if you try to make everyone happy you will rip yourself apart and end in misery and frustration.

The number one regret of the dying (according to a book written by a palliative nurse caring for the terminally ill) is not “having worked less” or “spend more time with loved ones.“ No, the no. 1 regret is

„not having lived a life true to myself but the one others expected of me.“

Now to the accusation itself: I was really surprised to read this message because in no way or place I have or intended to claim that anything that I am writing is new. I didn’t invent this nor am I obviously (!) the first one discovering these “truths.” All that I am doing is trying to share my journey authentically and share what I have learned in the process of it and how that has served me — also I found that the spiritual books are often not actionable and relatable to many of us.

I’m not trying to impress anybody, I’m not trying to be a teacher, I’m not trying to tell you what to do, I’m not saying I’m right and you are not, I’m not saying any of this is new or I have discovered it. All I am doing is sharing my journey as authentically and vulnerably as I am able to at the moment and maybe there is something in there that can help you in your journey.

And if not, no problem, don’t read them, don’t like them, don’t follow. Only you know how to spend your time best. But what I do know is that the “truths”, my truths, that I am sharing here are things that I have experienced viscerally. I’m not retelling things I gleamed from spiritual books — though I have read quite a few of them and they are powerful.

We can’t pick up wisdom from books. There’s plenty of foundational spiritual books that lay out the deepest truths about life and despite those books most people go through life suffering. It’s two very different things reading something and living it. And when I say that, I’m not saying I’m living it. I’m far from being wise or liberated by any measure but I do feel that I have much more control, beauty and love in and for my life than I had before going on my journey of finding truths, becoming more aware, becoming more spiritual.

And that’s what I’m sharing. What helped me might help you. And because I might be coming from a place where you’re at (having had a traditional career, then being an entrepreneur but now living more in line with this spiritual thing) maybe some of my words click with you and help you reflect on your own journey and what you are doing with your life.

I get messages of people thanking me and enjoying following my musings so it seems it benefits at least a few. It helped me and a lot of what I talk about is also what I work on with my clients and it helps them and a few people like to read it. Great, that’s it. Think of it as my personal journal that I share publicly. Who likes it can read it and everyone else doesn’t have to. And if anything resonates or doesn’t with you, I’d love to hear from you. ✨

Continue to Day 24: Trust and dis-ease (Ayahuasca).

This is a repost of my Instagram series of 400 Days of Surrender that I started in September 2020. If you want to skip ahead, you can find all posts here. If you wonder who I am, check out my website. Always excited to hear from you. ❤️