There’s no randomness in life or the universe. None. A few years ago, maybe even as recent as last year, I would have laughed about such a preposterous statement and probably thought the speaker of such words has no idea what he's talking about, at best, or, at worst, silently thought of him as an idiot. Little did I know.
I can observe this change in me, call them beliefs or views of the world, across the board. I used to be hardcore reason and science-minded, an atheist with a purely mechanical and material understanding of life and the world and oblivious to the real workings of all things as I see them now.
In that vein, I cannot fail anybody for thinking the same about that very statement and me. But before you judge as I used to, hear me out. I am just as reason and science-driven as I used to be before, just my understanding of what science is and how it works has expanded.
During the pandemic, the slogan “because I believe in science” has been used by mass vaccination proponents all the time. But what science were they referring to? When Covid hit us in March 2020, I dove into it and started researching everything I could get my hands on. And after two weeks or so of full-time research, I set up this website of the best resources I had found.
My conclusion after processing all that information: Covid is potentially very dangerous and I called my parents to tell them to stay inside and choose carefully where they go to and who they meet. This was the early days and few people panicked yet. Little did I know that I would completely reverse my assessment over the subsequent months and years as I was digging deeper into sources beyond the mainstream headlines.
What is my point? This is not about Covid or who’s right or wrong. This is about me believing something and then doing a 180-degree turn as I test and challenge my beliefs. This is an uncomfortable process because not only does my current reality collapse but also the one of the people that know me - as I do a seeming U-turn in front of their eyes.
But the seeming turn is not one of opinion but guided by facts. And as the facts that I am aware of change, a new reality becomes more probable than the previous one. So the only reasonable thing to do is to accept this new, to me superior “truth.” Because if I know that something I-used-to-believe-is-correct no longer is, the only thing that makes sense is to adjust my understanding to this new perceived reality.
An easier and seemingly more convenient way is to ignore the new facts or not even explore the topic to uncover new information. We are all busy with life and I might just decide that the topic is not relevant enough for me. But if I do that, I need to at least acknowledge that my view of reality is based on outdated or possibly incorrect information. Yet that’s not how we as humans operate. We believe that what we believe is likely or even 100% true. A combination of sampling and confirmation bias.
This was a long intro to my initial statement that there’s no randomness in life. As I find myself getting into full alignment of who I am, full alignment means what I think, say and do all match with my experience that I am continuously testing, challenging and experimenting with. I am doing all of that to get to the bottom of things.
Whether that is Covid, society in general, Bitcoin and thereby finance and money (see here) or life/happiness/fulfilment (see this newsletter) somehow I have been driven for the past eight years (since leaving my last business) to get to the bottom of things. My parents or friends would wonder what I am up to and why I am not getting a normal job and live a normal life (normal as in what most people choose to do) and neither did I know, I just felt a had to keep going. I could simply not not be doing it. And so I kept following the rabbit down the rabbit holes.
And here we are. This newsletter and the explorations I am sharing are a result of this continuous labour of love. Everything that came before were bridges I had to cross to lead me to exactly where I am now. And at last, after all those years, it starts making sense and I am no longer following just a gut feeling but a deeper knowing, a certainty that can’t be explained rationally but I can feel it deep inside me.
This journey of getting to the bottom of things started even earlier. I’ve been at it all my life. When I was only a few years old, I already took everything that I could get my hands on apart, before I could even speak properly. At the age of 3 or 4, I put a nail into a power outlet, despite it being protected, and nearly electricuted myself. If you have been wondering about what kinds of things I am doing to myself to find answers, well it all started there.
My point is: This always curious exploring quality is everywhere in my life since the first days I can remember. It is innate to me. This is true for all of us. We are all someone before we come here and our job in life is to reconnect with this truth, with ourselves and then live in alignment with it. And when we do, our lives become incredibly enriching, beautiful and powerful - in the best sense of the word. We feel fulfilled and we touch other people profoundly. We are deeply seated in our authenticity.
It took me 44 years to fully comprehend this truth: That everything I have been doing in my life has been leading up to this moment, to this realisation. All the explorations and doubts about what I am here to do, everything was always guided by my Higher Self, the mind and senses just didn't have the capacity in comprehending this. They never do.
And so I am finally understanding what Steve Jobs meant when he famously said: You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So, you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something, your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. Because believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart, even when it leads you off the well-worn path, and that will make all the difference.”
Everything is here to guide us to where we need to go. If we get off our path, our unique path, life will first gently nudge us back and if we don't pay attention or get back on it, life will become more forceful through suffering, physical disease and ultimately death. Our bodies only support a life in alignment with who we are.
We don't get to choose who we are. We are who we are and we are here to remember who that is:
If you have not watched Steve’s powerful Stanford commencement speech, here it is (15 mins):
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